THE DROP TRICK
Steady clitoral contact is essential to female orgasm. But without adequate lubrication, it can become uncomfortable.
"Lubrication increases the comfort and speed with which you can penetrate the vagina and grind against the clitoris," says Friedrichs. "But sometimes, no matter how turned on a woman might be psychologically, she can have trouble getting wet."
Try a couple of drops of lube on the end of your tool. Then thrust with short, rhythmic strokes while pressing your body against her pubic mound. Don't use too much lube or it'll feel like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
THE NECK WARMER
Our necks are highly responsive touch pads—the skin is thin, and the blood vessels are close to the surface. Psychologically, it can remind some women of "their first sexual experiences, which could make it even more exciting," Friedrichs says. No hickeys, please: Don't suck.
When you're having sex and she's clearly moving toward orgasm, brush your lips from her collarbone to her jaw, then give her neck big, warm kisses until she comes unhinged.
For a verbal girl—and there are a lot of us out here—a string of four-letter words whispered in the heat of the moment can work wonders.
"Start by complimenting her or talking about how good what you're doing feels," advises Friedrichs. If she doesn't say anything back, she might not be into it. If she responds with "Oh, yeah" or a similarly enthusiastic phrase, she wants more.
"Nothing makes me hotter than when he describes what he's doing to me in explicit language," says my friend Lana. "But I'm picky—there are certain terms that drive me wild, and others that make me cringe."
Build a glossary: A goofy conversation over drinks about which anatomical nicknames are the sexiest isn't a bad idea. And if she ever seems horrified by what comes out of your mouth, just say, "Sorry about that, I got carried away."
Final note: Skip cheerleader comments like "C'mon baby, you can do it!"
THE DREAM MACHINE
"It's a simple fact that some women can climax only by using a vibrator," says Friedrichs. If your partner never hits her high note, no matter what you try, simply ask her if she's ever had a battery-assisted orgasm. If she says no, introduce her to a whole new world of wow by ordering something small but powerful, such as the Aqua Touch Vibe ($26 from goodvibes.com). And if she's really into the idea of adding some kink to your routine, check out this round-up of the best sex toys for men.
If she's over the age of 30, her answer will probably be yes, and she'll be more than happy to pull her Hitachi Magic Wand out of her bedside drawer. After asking what pressure and speed she prefers (many vibrators have several settings), all you have to do is hold the vibrator against her clitoris as you move from one position to another. Enjoy the magic show.